omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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