Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
