Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
