True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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