I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
