in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
