The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
