So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
