he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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