My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
