I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
