We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize