Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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