Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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