the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
