I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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