Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
