Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
