Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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