so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
