Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
