The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
