I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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