Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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