She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
