we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
