Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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