Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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