After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
