Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
