I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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