just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
