I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
