I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
