who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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