Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
