haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
