yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
