This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pants are for mortals
Randomize