I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
