I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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