She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
