We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
