I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
