Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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