He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
