I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
