Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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