maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
