I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I currently don't understand fingers.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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