with your own penis?
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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