I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
