I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
