Where is the hickey?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize