Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
