just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
