Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
