Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
