I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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